Story'X Book

从山上下来，就一直好想念'上面的朋友“。。嘻～～
所以发给他们的简讯。。和他们发给我的简讯。。一直没有删掉。。
但是。。我手机能够跟随我的命运或许只能维持这两天。。
所以。。决定了。。
把这些文字变成永恒。。收留在这里。。
因为。。我真的不想忘记。。

Sent Item
To: Loy
这次真的离开云顶了，很高兴能够认识你！
和你相处的这三个月真的很开心，要记得我们的约定。。
缘分真的是一辈子的。。
（这封信息竟然用了三次 “真的”。〕

To: Han Lun
阿伦，我回家了，我知道你一定会很想念我的咯！
所以我也会很想念你的。。掰掰！要保重！
（有点臭屁。。。哈哈！〕

To: Eng Han
这次真的回了。。你回去就看不到我了。。
记得不要想念我知道吗？掰掰啦！
（明明就是要他想念我。。嘻～～〕

To: Chee Keong
Now i'm really leaving genting..
I was having a great time working there..
U r surely 1 of d reasons..
Thx 4 tc of me n bring me all d beautiful memories..
Bye.. Gd luck n tc
(衷心感谢。。〕

To: Boon Hooi
我走了，你不要欺负玉盈，要帮我好好照顾他，不然我派永汉去打你。。
最后一句，很高兴认识你。。
（协这封信息之前，我还呕咧。。晕车垃@@)

INBOX
09-Mar-08 3.06p.m
From: Chee Keong
thanx n sorry din buy anythin 4 u... is nice...i like it... thanx again... come up remember find me o...take care ya...i will miss u...

16-Mar-08 7:46p.m
From: Han Lun
那你有空上来云顶时记得来找我呀=)我永远都记得你的样子的呀＝〕保持联络＝〕电话号码不要换呀＝〕你要读好书来＝〕不要每天出夜街啦＝〕拜拜＝〕
（超长气。。罗嗦的简讯。。不过我好喜欢哦。。～～〕

在浏览peter的部落格。。
看见他发表的其中一篇文章。。

Hate that I love U

I hate that I still hug my pillow every night when I'm sleeping.


I hate how I hang on to every word you say to me...replaying it over & over in my head.

I hate how my mind deceits me into thinking you care.

I hate knowing in my heart I can never have you but the feeling of love never leaves.

I hate how I anticipate your words to me.

I hate that I have obssessive tendencies and I cannot let go of you.

I hate the fact that I think of you 1,000 time a day.

I hate that if I don't talk to you for days it seems like years.

I hate that I'm jealous of you.

I hate that you act like I'm invisible.

I hate how much I know about you.

I hate how attached to you I've become.

I hate how I fear I will never get passed this.

I hate how I can see you've moved on & I'm still in pain.

I hate how I have to be all or nothing.

I hate how I cannot be with someone else because you hold my heart in your hands.

I hate that I love with every inch of my body.

I hate knowing I would give my life for just one touch of your hand.

I hate seeing couples in love...wishing that was us.

I hate knowing I would give you the world but I'll never have that chance.

I hate how people think "Ahhh...everyone gets their heart broken!!" They just don't know, 20 years from now, I'll be writing these same words as if it happened yesterday.

I hate that I find some part of you in every place I go.

I hate that I need you & no one but you can fullfill that need.

I hate how similar we are & how you understand me more than anyone.

I hate my mind for not putting you in that box in my head that keeps all the things I can't deal with.

I hate that my mum asks about you but doesn't even know you....and I don't know how to answer her.

I hate that I dream of you often.

I hate that I still keep our photos & act 15 years old when I talk to you and you say I'm childish.

I hate that I cannot find any wrong in you because I will forget it.

I hate that I am so happy when I see you smile that I feel like crying.

I hate how I give you control over me.

I hate that I would give you all the time in a day & you give me none.

I hate that I truly love you & you don't love me because you said you hate me.

I hate missing you every single day.

I hate that I cannot move on---- I CANNOT get passed this but I will try my best.

I hate loving & getting no love in return.

I hate that I have cried more for you than any one person in my life.

I hate that I long for you & only you.

I hate that I love you.

I hate that all of this is for nothing because you won't read this and my blog anyways!!!

更多详情
http://loverbunnies.blogspot.com/2008/01/hate-that-i-love-you.html

虽说爱的反面就是恨，往往恨的不是他人，而是自己。。
恨自己太傻，却又不能自拔。。。

其实，今天心情不太好。。
原因不完全是不舍得。。
而是，我终于弄懂了，他这几天的反应。。
我很想对他说

别傻了
其实我都懂
一开始就知道
如果真的是对我感到抱歉。。。
不必了
我没事
真的很好
是我高估自己了
也低估了你。。
现在只剩回忆，还有对你无限的想念。。


…………………………………………………………………………………
今天在回家的途中，突然领悟了一个道理，
“世上没有东西是永恒不变的，唯有在拥有时好好珍惜。”

习惯了。。
总爱到他人的部落格闲逛。。
走走看看。。。
之后再回到自己的天地，发呆。。
不知该写些什么。。
之前有太多话想说了，现在确有一言难尽的感觉。
…………………………………………………………………………


L说我很理智，太理智了。
没能让我失去理智，就不算爱情了。
一直都没降临在我身上。
说真的我也好害怕，害怕我不能安然渡过剩余的一个月。
脑中常会浮现他送花的情景，自己心里惊喜和感动，女生对花总会把持不住。
还有，之后的他。他的冷漠，他的逃避。我从来不知道，他会有这样的反应。
以为习惯在情场翻滚的他，见过大风浪，这些对他来说只不过是芝麻绿豆。
而我，当真芝麻绿豆，以为隔天醒来就会没事。
这一些，一直没对其他人说，反正说出来也不会懂。
只期盼一切好事都能降临我身上。天天天天都要祝我好运。